I love my girl friends, but some of them have some pretty warped ideas. Thinking they deserve a great guy means that they deserve a male that is a doctor/lawyer/underwear model/Porsche driver who spends his spare time helping kids fly kites.
This guy exists. But he's gay.
They also describe this guy another way: Tall, dark, and asshole.
In all seriousness, whatever happened to wanting someone kindhearted, intelligent, and funny?
Oh yeah, those guys are gay too.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Holy Crap I Forgot About This Thing
I really did. I wish I had an interesting story here, but I really don't.
I guess the "Random" might mean that I have ADD....
I guess the "Random" might mean that I have ADD....
Monday, July 9, 2007
Don't Wake the Giant
Right now I am sitting in strategic management class. I don't know if it's the nature of the class or the idiots in it, but everyone (of the 80 students) has got to add their stupid little anecdotal irrelevant personal stories to every case and example. It lengthens the class by approximately one hour. I do not want to spend an extra hour with you oxygen stealers.
Here's a sample: Discussing Home Depot strategy, and some attention whore in the front row raises her hand and talks about how terrible Home Depot was because they screwed up her microwave.
I gave her a look that said, "Hey crazy face, what the HELL does this have to do with corporate strategy and marketing?"
Somehow, this devolves into a symposium of whining about shitty customer service. Some dude starts kvetching about his tv from Sony. Snore.
All of this whining...wakes the giant.
The giant is a very annoying guy with some warped opinions. He is about 7 feet tall and covered in facial hair. He talks loudly and for what seems like an eternity. Whenever there is a class discussion he has to share some freak ideology and present it as accepted law. There was the corporate lettuce farming conspiracy, and the statement that "If you slap an American label on it, the Chinese will buy anything."
The giant wakes and does not bother to raise his hand, just interrupts the prof, talking about Wal Mart.
"Take Wal Mart for example. You don't shop at Wal Mart because you want to. You shop at Wal Mart because you HAVE TO. But I don't buy my suits there no no. I buy my ties at Macy's."
After some more incoherent rambling, the giant finally slumbers again...until next time.
Oh PS -- some guy showed up and his wife just had a baby this evening. And he comes to CLASS?? What a loser. I bet his wife is so proud she married such a loving and caring guy.
Here's a sample: Discussing Home Depot strategy, and some attention whore in the front row raises her hand and talks about how terrible Home Depot was because they screwed up her microwave.
I gave her a look that said, "Hey crazy face, what the HELL does this have to do with corporate strategy and marketing?"
Somehow, this devolves into a symposium of whining about shitty customer service. Some dude starts kvetching about his tv from Sony. Snore.
All of this whining...wakes the giant.
The giant is a very annoying guy with some warped opinions. He is about 7 feet tall and covered in facial hair. He talks loudly and for what seems like an eternity. Whenever there is a class discussion he has to share some freak ideology and present it as accepted law. There was the corporate lettuce farming conspiracy, and the statement that "If you slap an American label on it, the Chinese will buy anything."
The giant wakes and does not bother to raise his hand, just interrupts the prof, talking about Wal Mart.
"Take Wal Mart for example. You don't shop at Wal Mart because you want to. You shop at Wal Mart because you HAVE TO. But I don't buy my suits there no no. I buy my ties at Macy's."
After some more incoherent rambling, the giant finally slumbers again...until next time.
Oh PS -- some guy showed up and his wife just had a baby this evening. And he comes to CLASS?? What a loser. I bet his wife is so proud she married such a loving and caring guy.
Friday, June 29, 2007
Go to your high school reunions...trust me.
I didn't know if I believed in karma until my 10 year high school reunion, which was held last weekend.
A little background, I was a shy, skinny, awkward kid who had a few too many perms, braces, and no fashion sense. I was in Advanced Placement classes and had goody goody not popular (but amazingly awesome and great) friends. I didn't drink, smoke, or do drugs (unless you count some wine coolers my senior year). Boys would ask me out as a joke or a dare, I didn't go to my senior prom.
Trust me, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I went back for the ten year reunion. It was a little daunting stepping in there by myself and facing the gauntlet, but I found my old friends and they all looked amazing. And I saw the people who weren't so nice, and they had become as ugly on the outside as they were on the inside. My 'goody goody' friends and I and all the really nice, good people were the best looking and most successful people there.
There was also toasted ravioli, and I love that.
Also, drunk popular guys who didn't pay any attention to me in high school got drunk and tried to hit on me. HA! Denied.
To all the nerds out there...just wait. :)
A little background, I was a shy, skinny, awkward kid who had a few too many perms, braces, and no fashion sense. I was in Advanced Placement classes and had goody goody not popular (but amazingly awesome and great) friends. I didn't drink, smoke, or do drugs (unless you count some wine coolers my senior year). Boys would ask me out as a joke or a dare, I didn't go to my senior prom.
Trust me, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I went back for the ten year reunion. It was a little daunting stepping in there by myself and facing the gauntlet, but I found my old friends and they all looked amazing. And I saw the people who weren't so nice, and they had become as ugly on the outside as they were on the inside. My 'goody goody' friends and I and all the really nice, good people were the best looking and most successful people there.
There was also toasted ravioli, and I love that.
Also, drunk popular guys who didn't pay any attention to me in high school got drunk and tried to hit on me. HA! Denied.
To all the nerds out there...just wait. :)
Sunday, June 17, 2007
I'm Still Up
I have found a new drink, called the wine spritzer and it is yum. We just took some wine and some sprite and voila, wine spritzers. The wine lasts a lot longer and rocks. Kudos to Amber for thinking up that great idea and bringing over Sprite. We took it to a friend's party.
Also we were trying to come up with a more PC name for Chinese Finger Cuffs. Ben and I were discussing and we thought "Asian Phalange Retainer" was a little better. But it's probably worse. Don't stone me. I think he won the Asian Phalange Retainers in some battle of wits with the Dave and Buster's basketball game. It was a test of skill.
Also if you are smoking pot at a party, don't make it that obvious. And do something about the smell, it is putrid. But all of a sudden I feel very laid back and am hungry.
Also Taco Cabana is the best place ever. I just ate a bean and cheese burrito at 2 am. Remind me I did this when I get to 40 and get heartburn from just looking at a burrito.
Also we were trying to come up with a more PC name for Chinese Finger Cuffs. Ben and I were discussing and we thought "Asian Phalange Retainer" was a little better. But it's probably worse. Don't stone me. I think he won the Asian Phalange Retainers in some battle of wits with the Dave and Buster's basketball game. It was a test of skill.
Also if you are smoking pot at a party, don't make it that obvious. And do something about the smell, it is putrid. But all of a sudden I feel very laid back and am hungry.
Also Taco Cabana is the best place ever. I just ate a bean and cheese burrito at 2 am. Remind me I did this when I get to 40 and get heartburn from just looking at a burrito.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
My Professor Goes Skinny Dipping, And Other Things I Didn't Want to Know
I'm in class, and my prof is talking about how he and his wife use Appreciative Inquiry to help their relationship.
...And they talked about going skinny dipping, massages, and calling each other Mr. Chocolate.
Still going....
And he's also a good dancer.
...And they talked about going skinny dipping, massages, and calling each other Mr. Chocolate.
Still going....
And he's also a good dancer.
Monday, June 11, 2007
DIRTY! Blast From the Past 3
From: Ginsuchop Sent: Monday, April 22, 2002 12:57 PM
To: RandomGirlinTX, GetawayDriver, Kim-eh
Subject: RE: Any subject
Went to lunch and was sitting at stop light, bird pooped on wind shield right in front of my face. Almost puked. Now car is DIRTY!!!!
Got message on computer this morning that said I had 322 files with viruses that had to be fixed. Now computer is DIRTY!!!!
Bug ran out on bathroom floor this morning. It was a silverfish. A big one too, probably cause it and all his friends are eating holes in my brand new $4000 wardrobe. I stepped on it. Now my apartment is DIRTY!!!!
Just spilled coffee on desk. Now cube is DIRTY!!!!
Ok, I'm just going to go find a mud puddle and roll around in it.
From: Kim-eh
To: RandomGirlinTX, Ginsuchop, GetawayDriver
Subject: RE: Any subject
Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2002 1:01:52
My phones are DIRTY! Everyone else is out data testing a new system, b/c we have to get this data in by Wednesday, but the stupid IT ppl didn't load my phone into the system so they are DIRTY!
Want to take a nap after huge FREE lunch. We all got dessert. Wonder how much it cost? Wait, no I don't b/c I DON"T CARE! free for me.
Later Kim-eh
From: RandomGirlinTX
To: Kim-eh, Ginsuchop, GetawayDriver
Subject: RE: Any subject
Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2002 1:45:52 PM
DIRTY!!!!!!! I want to play too! This morning my pillow smelled like Pine Sol and I have no clue why. DIRTY!
I ran across a silverfish too the other day. I Raid-ed him. HE screamed "Oh no...RAID!".....DIRTY!
Sprouted another large zit on my face...DIRTY!
My house still smells like Brye's feet...DIRTY! My lunch was not free...DIRTY!
From: GetawayDriver
Sent: Monday, April 22, 2002 2:56 PM
To: RandomGirlinTX, Ginsuchop, Kim-eh
Subject: RE: Any subject
I just had to transfer gonnorhea from a little tube to an agar plate......DIRTY!!!!
Had 1 hour meeting where males just wanted to hear themselves talk.........DIRTY!!!!!
Found silverfish in my apartment, too-wore sweater on Friday with hole in the back, Jared was making fun of me b/c I didn't notice until we came back from dinner.......DIRTY!!!!
Had to pay for my lunch, although it was only $0.74..........DIRTY!!!!!!
Princess is going yet another week without any nookie, so she's taking it out on me......DIRTY!!!!!!!
To: RandomGirlinTX, GetawayDriver, Kim-eh
Subject: RE: Any subject
Went to lunch and was sitting at stop light, bird pooped on wind shield right in front of my face. Almost puked. Now car is DIRTY!!!!
Got message on computer this morning that said I had 322 files with viruses that had to be fixed. Now computer is DIRTY!!!!
Bug ran out on bathroom floor this morning. It was a silverfish. A big one too, probably cause it and all his friends are eating holes in my brand new $4000 wardrobe. I stepped on it. Now my apartment is DIRTY!!!!
Just spilled coffee on desk. Now cube is DIRTY!!!!
Ok, I'm just going to go find a mud puddle and roll around in it.
From: Kim-eh
To: RandomGirlinTX, Ginsuchop, GetawayDriver
Subject: RE: Any subject
Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2002 1:01:52
My phones are DIRTY! Everyone else is out data testing a new system, b/c we have to get this data in by Wednesday, but the stupid IT ppl didn't load my phone into the system so they are DIRTY!
Want to take a nap after huge FREE lunch. We all got dessert. Wonder how much it cost? Wait, no I don't b/c I DON"T CARE! free for me.
Later Kim-eh
From: RandomGirlinTX
To: Kim-eh, Ginsuchop, GetawayDriver
Subject: RE: Any subject
Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2002 1:45:52 PM
DIRTY!!!!!!! I want to play too! This morning my pillow smelled like Pine Sol and I have no clue why. DIRTY!
I ran across a silverfish too the other day. I Raid-ed him. HE screamed "Oh no...RAID!".....DIRTY!
Sprouted another large zit on my face...DIRTY!
My house still smells like Brye's feet...DIRTY! My lunch was not free...DIRTY!
From: GetawayDriver
Sent: Monday, April 22, 2002 2:56 PM
To: RandomGirlinTX, Ginsuchop, Kim-eh
Subject: RE: Any subject
I just had to transfer gonnorhea from a little tube to an agar plate......DIRTY!!!!
Had 1 hour meeting where males just wanted to hear themselves talk.........DIRTY!!!!!
Found silverfish in my apartment, too-wore sweater on Friday with hole in the back, Jared was making fun of me b/c I didn't notice until we came back from dinner.......DIRTY!!!!
Had to pay for my lunch, although it was only $0.74..........DIRTY!!!!!!
Princess is going yet another week without any nookie, so she's taking it out on me......DIRTY!!!!!!!
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Tentacle Todd and Burnt Beans...Blast From the Past 2
I had been a single girl in Dallas for almost a month, and I went on my first date to some odd results. Ginsuchop didn't fare much better in her quest to hide the smell of burnt beans.
From: RandomGirlinTX
To: GetawayDriver, Ginsuchop, Kim-eh
Subject: Dirty!
Date: Mon, 4 Mar 2002 05:50:16
Date went as follows:
Went out to a cute little Mexican restaurant. Talked over dinner, good conversation, things are going well. It only takes us about a half hour to eat.
So, we both decided to go back to my house and watch Cops. So we are watching Cops and sitting at opposite ends of the room.
Then, out of nowhere, during the commercial break, he gets up to *stretch*, and then comes over and kisses me. I was completely shocked, but things were going well so a little kiss can’t hurt. Too bad as soon as commercial break is over, he stops and becomes completely immersed in the tv again (even though he had seen this episode before). Then the next commercial break hits, and he comes at me again.
As the first element of surprise has worn off, I realize that this guy was devouring my whole face in a sucker on a tentacle sort of fashion. Luckily, commercial breaks are not long. He shall now be known as Tentacle Todd.
I ended the date after Cops was finished. Was hoping to have intelligent discussion over criminal law system, or at least wifebeater tees and instead almost got devoured by a giant squid.
From: Ginsuchop
To: GetawayDriver, RandomGirlinTX, Kim-eh
Subject: Dirty!
Date: Mon, 4 Mar 2002 09:23:16
My weekend was relatively uneventful.
Impounded cars: 0, burnt food incidents: 1 (Editor’s note: After a night of drinking with me, Ginsuchop decided to go back to her place and cook some pinto beans. Unfortunately she passed out while the beans were on the stove. The next morning there was a putrid burnt pinto bean smell emanating from her apt. I could smell it from the parking lot), dirty boy count: 2.
Mom told me to simmer some vinegar on the stove as is supposed to absorb (pinto bean) smell, in theory. Burnt it. Now apartment smells like combination of burnt pinto beans and burnt vinegar.
Got mauled by 35-year old Italian in club who sounded just like the pepper boy from SNL. Also got hit on by Ed Burns look-a-like with shaggy hair and a plaid shirt who had very racist language.
He asked to call me sometime. Neglected to tell him that name was not in phone book as have just moved to Dallas. Oops.
From: RandomGirlinTX
To: GetawayDriver, Ginsuchop, Kim-eh
Subject: Dirty!
Date: Mon, 4 Mar 2002 05:50:16
Date went as follows:
Went out to a cute little Mexican restaurant. Talked over dinner, good conversation, things are going well. It only takes us about a half hour to eat.
So, we both decided to go back to my house and watch Cops. So we are watching Cops and sitting at opposite ends of the room.
Then, out of nowhere, during the commercial break, he gets up to *stretch*, and then comes over and kisses me. I was completely shocked, but things were going well so a little kiss can’t hurt. Too bad as soon as commercial break is over, he stops and becomes completely immersed in the tv again (even though he had seen this episode before). Then the next commercial break hits, and he comes at me again.
As the first element of surprise has worn off, I realize that this guy was devouring my whole face in a sucker on a tentacle sort of fashion. Luckily, commercial breaks are not long. He shall now be known as Tentacle Todd.
I ended the date after Cops was finished. Was hoping to have intelligent discussion over criminal law system, or at least wifebeater tees and instead almost got devoured by a giant squid.
From: Ginsuchop
To: GetawayDriver, RandomGirlinTX, Kim-eh
Subject: Dirty!
Date: Mon, 4 Mar 2002 09:23:16
My weekend was relatively uneventful.
Impounded cars: 0, burnt food incidents: 1 (Editor’s note: After a night of drinking with me, Ginsuchop decided to go back to her place and cook some pinto beans. Unfortunately she passed out while the beans were on the stove. The next morning there was a putrid burnt pinto bean smell emanating from her apt. I could smell it from the parking lot), dirty boy count: 2.
Mom told me to simmer some vinegar on the stove as is supposed to absorb (pinto bean) smell, in theory. Burnt it. Now apartment smells like combination of burnt pinto beans and burnt vinegar.
Got mauled by 35-year old Italian in club who sounded just like the pepper boy from SNL. Also got hit on by Ed Burns look-a-like with shaggy hair and a plaid shirt who had very racist language.
He asked to call me sometime. Neglected to tell him that name was not in phone book as have just moved to Dallas. Oops.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Blast from the Past Part 1
A little background on this one....I had just moved to TX, and my long distance boyfriend had stopped talking to me period, and I had heard from more than one person he found a new little 'hookup' in the form of a girl who was far uglier. I decided to take matters into my own hands. GetawayDriver helps me rationalize my situation.
From: RandomGirlinTX
To: GetawayDriver
Subject: Confidential
Date: Thu, 14 Feb 2002 06:59:18
Is it cheating if you kiss a doctor or does it just count as preventative medicine, and do you think my health plan will cover it?
RandomGirlinTX
From: GetawayDriver
To: RandomGirlinTX
Subject: Confidential
Date: Thu, 14 Feb 2002 07:35:06
YOU GO GIRL!!!!!! It's not cheating.....you had a sore throat and he was testing for Streptococcus :)
SO JEALOUS
From: RandomGirlinTX
To: GetawayDriver
Subject: Confidential
Date: Thu, 14 Feb 2002 06:59:18
Is it cheating if you kiss a doctor or does it just count as preventative medicine, and do you think my health plan will cover it?
RandomGirlinTX
From: GetawayDriver
To: RandomGirlinTX
Subject: Confidential
Date: Thu, 14 Feb 2002 07:35:06
YOU GO GIRL!!!!!! It's not cheating.....you had a sore throat and he was testing for Streptococcus :)
SO JEALOUS
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
An Update and Something New...
Well after my last downer of a post, it seems this week is looking much better than last week. Date guy resurfaced, my car will be ready tomorrow, I am no longer sick, and it stopped raining.
I am going to try something new. I was going through some old emails with my 3 BFFs from college, especially the ones where we had just moved our separate ways and started working in 2002. They are hilarious, so I am going to start posting them. Names and places have been changed to protect identities. Just so you can tell who's who, here is a little primer on each of us. We all have nicknames below.
Ginsuchop: Ginsuchop is the diva of the group with great fashion sense. She got a master's in Environmental Engineering and started working for an environmental consulting firm in the Dallas area. She got an apt across the parking lot from me when we first started out, so we went out all the time.
Kim-eh: Kim-eh graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering and went to work for a telecom company in the Kansas City area. She has a fiance we will call MC Hammer at the time of graduation.
Getaway Driver: Named that because she was our getaway driver one night, and it was a SLOW getaway in her Corrolla. But she can still be my getaway driver anytime. She graduated with a degree in Biology and went to work for a Bio Tech company in St. Louis.
RandomGirlinTX: That's me. I ended up in DFW working as an engineer for a defense company.
That should be all the background necessary, let the trip down memory lane begin...
I am going to try something new. I was going through some old emails with my 3 BFFs from college, especially the ones where we had just moved our separate ways and started working in 2002. They are hilarious, so I am going to start posting them. Names and places have been changed to protect identities. Just so you can tell who's who, here is a little primer on each of us. We all have nicknames below.
Ginsuchop: Ginsuchop is the diva of the group with great fashion sense. She got a master's in Environmental Engineering and started working for an environmental consulting firm in the Dallas area. She got an apt across the parking lot from me when we first started out, so we went out all the time.
Kim-eh: Kim-eh graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering and went to work for a telecom company in the Kansas City area. She has a fiance we will call MC Hammer at the time of graduation.
Getaway Driver: Named that because she was our getaway driver one night, and it was a SLOW getaway in her Corrolla. But she can still be my getaway driver anytime. She graduated with a degree in Biology and went to work for a Bio Tech company in St. Louis.
RandomGirlinTX: That's me. I ended up in DFW working as an engineer for a defense company.
That should be all the background necessary, let the trip down memory lane begin...
Friday, June 1, 2007
The Latest on Cars, Men, and Sickness
The good news...
It turns out that the guy that hit my car has admitted responsibility, and the car will be ready next week. I miss the Mini.
The bad news is that a nice guy I went on a few dates with seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet. He could call, but my interest wanes with each passing day. I swear the day I start to understand men will be the day Britney Spears doesn't look like she needs to be dipped in a vat of Lysol.
Yesterday was a terrible day. I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating one minute, shivering the next. I woke up to the worst sinus congestion ever. Then I pulled it together only to go to work, fall on the stairs, and right on top of my lunch.
It's been a terrible, horrible, no good very bad week. I'm thinking of moving to Australia.
If you know where that quote is from you are a rock star.
It turns out that the guy that hit my car has admitted responsibility, and the car will be ready next week. I miss the Mini.
The bad news is that a nice guy I went on a few dates with seems to have disappeared off the face of the planet. He could call, but my interest wanes with each passing day. I swear the day I start to understand men will be the day Britney Spears doesn't look like she needs to be dipped in a vat of Lysol.
Yesterday was a terrible day. I woke up in the middle of the night, sweating one minute, shivering the next. I woke up to the worst sinus congestion ever. Then I pulled it together only to go to work, fall on the stairs, and right on top of my lunch.
It's been a terrible, horrible, no good very bad week. I'm thinking of moving to Australia.
If you know where that quote is from you are a rock star.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Poor Little Bam Bam
My poor poor car.
His name is Bam Bam and he is a red Mini Cooper convertible. Such a cute car. Now he is mangled since some dude in a Lexus ran a red light and clipped the front left corner of my baby.
The good thing is I have witnesses. Three, who saw the whole thing and will say he ran the light. The bad news is that there is some significant damage. I'm ok and everything, and that's all that counts...but...
I haven't even had that car a YEAR YET!!!
BOOO!!!
Tomorrow it goes into the shop and I get a rental. It better not suck.
His name is Bam Bam and he is a red Mini Cooper convertible. Such a cute car. Now he is mangled since some dude in a Lexus ran a red light and clipped the front left corner of my baby.
The good thing is I have witnesses. Three, who saw the whole thing and will say he ran the light. The bad news is that there is some significant damage. I'm ok and everything, and that's all that counts...but...
I haven't even had that car a YEAR YET!!!
BOOO!!!
Tomorrow it goes into the shop and I get a rental. It better not suck.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
You're Talking to Yourself Again...
I finally jumped into 2005 and got one of those bluetooth headsets. It's soo awesome but now I am that asshole that walks around the grocery store talking to herself. If I was in a dark alley and dressed in day old rags, other bums would try to pee on me and steal my magic bag. Even my dog thinks I am an asshole for getting this thing.
"You're an asshole, Mom."
See? Told ya. Maybe I can hide it behind my hair.
"You're an asshole, Mom."See? Told ya. Maybe I can hide it behind my hair.
People I Love
Since I wrote a blog on people I hate, it's only fair I do the flip side and write a blog on people I love. And since I have a glass of wine in front of me, I love everyone. But these people just make me smile and I love them even when there is no wine.
My friends are the fun married couple known as C&M. They are a lot of fun, love each other without nauseating me (hard to do), and are smart and open minded. They never forget a birthday, and they come and take you out if you've been dumped. When they go on a trip they think of you enough to bring you a present. I'm really lucky to have them in my life.
Normally I hate people who seem to be awesome and perfect. But you've gotta love these guys. Especially M that time she got drunk and grabbed peoples hineys. Or C when he got drunk and kept patting my head. They live in a cloud of awesome, convincing me that being married does not equal being dead. Plus they have a really large cat. And that spells awesome in any language.
My friends are the fun married couple known as C&M. They are a lot of fun, love each other without nauseating me (hard to do), and are smart and open minded. They never forget a birthday, and they come and take you out if you've been dumped. When they go on a trip they think of you enough to bring you a present. I'm really lucky to have them in my life.
Normally I hate people who seem to be awesome and perfect. But you've gotta love these guys. Especially M that time she got drunk and grabbed peoples hineys. Or C when he got drunk and kept patting my head. They live in a cloud of awesome, convincing me that being married does not equal being dead. Plus they have a really large cat. And that spells awesome in any language.
Text Messages from the Future
This might be a good sci-fi movie. I got a text message from the future. Seemingly inconsequential, but if this follows typical sci fi movie storylines, then I should get a text message from the future warning me that someone is going to blow up a bus station and then steal Uranium 238 from an underground bunker so they can blow up a major US City. Dear Homeland Security, this is NOT REAL.
But I digress. The text message I got from the future was regarding a friend coming over. She was supposed to be here at 6:30, but traffic was bad and she text messaged me. I received a text at 6:38 saying "Almost there!". But the time on the text message was 6:41, three minutes in the future! And guess what time she showed up at my house? You guessed it, 6:41 pm. Weird.
But I digress. The text message I got from the future was regarding a friend coming over. She was supposed to be here at 6:30, but traffic was bad and she text messaged me. I received a text at 6:38 saying "Almost there!". But the time on the text message was 6:41, three minutes in the future! And guess what time she showed up at my house? You guessed it, 6:41 pm. Weird.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Presidents in my Pants
I like to pretend the money in my pocket is talking to each other. Yes I am aware that is weird but I told you I was random.
Today:
Alexander Hamilton: Damn that Aaron Burr!
Abraham Lincoln: Huh?
George Washington: Don't even ask.
Abraham Lincoln: I should have never gone to the theater that night. Damn wife. She kept bitching I never took her out anymore, with that whole "Civil War" thing going on. Should have stayed at home. Now look, you stupid hag.
George Washington: I cannot tell a lie, I hate those prissy actors. I bet they wear their wives' petticoats when they do the minuet. They wouldn't have made it in my regiment.
Alexander Hamilton: Let's go hunt Aaron Burr! Who's with me?
Abraham Lincoln: I don't think he's in this pocket.
Today:
Alexander Hamilton: Damn that Aaron Burr!
Abraham Lincoln: Huh?
George Washington: Don't even ask.
Abraham Lincoln: I should have never gone to the theater that night. Damn wife. She kept bitching I never took her out anymore, with that whole "Civil War" thing going on. Should have stayed at home. Now look, you stupid hag.
George Washington: I cannot tell a lie, I hate those prissy actors. I bet they wear their wives' petticoats when they do the minuet. They wouldn't have made it in my regiment.
Alexander Hamilton: Let's go hunt Aaron Burr! Who's with me?
Abraham Lincoln: I don't think he's in this pocket.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Barnes and Noble is Smarter Than I Thought
When I was at Barnes and Noble the past weekend, I noticed that the "Romance" aisle was located right next to the aisle on "Diseases".
That was pure genius. I stood in Barnes and Noble chuckling to myself for sometime. I am sure everyone there wondered who the crazy girl was.
That was pure genius. I stood in Barnes and Noble chuckling to myself for sometime. I am sure everyone there wondered who the crazy girl was.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Morbidly Obese
TLC has been airing a lot of shows about the morbidly obese. Probably because there are a lot of morbidly obese people and that number shows no signs of decreasing.
But whatever. I like to watch these shows for some reason. Maybe novelty, or I am just rude, or I want to see if there is someone who makes cute clothes for these people and maybe that would be a good business.
And for a reason I cannot yet fathom, looking at morbidly obese people on these shows makes me hungry. I scooped out some cookies and cream ice cream to watch while I saw this show. Is that messed up in some way?
I guess the difference is I had a couple of scoops of ice cream, instead of a giant freaking carton, washed down with a two liter of coke and some sausage links covered in pancake syrup. I would wonder how these people got this way, but I know its due to addiction. Or a magic ring.
I dont' have an addictive personality, I am too flighty to stick with a vice for too long. For example, there was about two weeks at work where I ate tater tots every day. I could not get enough of the tots. After that two weeks I could barely look at the tots without wanting to hurl.
I will have to say,these shows are much more interesting that the crap that Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy have been lately. I think I'm hooked. But that won't last for long....
But whatever. I like to watch these shows for some reason. Maybe novelty, or I am just rude, or I want to see if there is someone who makes cute clothes for these people and maybe that would be a good business.
And for a reason I cannot yet fathom, looking at morbidly obese people on these shows makes me hungry. I scooped out some cookies and cream ice cream to watch while I saw this show. Is that messed up in some way?
I guess the difference is I had a couple of scoops of ice cream, instead of a giant freaking carton, washed down with a two liter of coke and some sausage links covered in pancake syrup. I would wonder how these people got this way, but I know its due to addiction. Or a magic ring.
I dont' have an addictive personality, I am too flighty to stick with a vice for too long. For example, there was about two weeks at work where I ate tater tots every day. I could not get enough of the tots. After that two weeks I could barely look at the tots without wanting to hurl.
I will have to say,these shows are much more interesting that the crap that Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy have been lately. I think I'm hooked. But that won't last for long....
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Death, Finals, and More Stupidity
So I finally emailed my professor about my stupid group project. I guess one girl finally volunteered to do something significant, which was put together the project into one document. Well, guess what. The girl just copies and pastes all of our information (and copies and pastes some things more than once). After the copy and paste hackjob she emails me and says the project is complete. She must not have even read it, there are graphs in the middle of paragraphs, and the two aren't even related.
She sends it to me 4 hours before it's due. And half of it is missing. There is no table of contents. There are supposed to be 40 pages min and there are only 22 that I count. So I do the best I can and get the project put together. None of my other 4 group mates helped.
Now we get this email from our prof telling us our project was unacceptable. That's when I had to email him and tell him what I've been dealing with. He seems pretty cool about it, like he knows whats been going on.
Also, my friend's dad died. Which is terrible. I feel so awful for her. I think I know what she's going through, since I lost my dad 7 years ago, but it's different for everyone so I guess I can't say that, and then you are incorporating yourself into someone else's grief and are an attention whore.
It's finals week coming up. I HATE finals week. That plus working full time just makes me so angry because all I want to do is lie on the couch on my stomach and have people bring me food and watch marathons of Law and Order, Criminal Intent. Maybe the food bringer can be shirtless and hot and Christian Bale's identical twin. Or he can wear a ruffly shirt and have an english accent and look like Colin Firth.
But my dogs are rambunctious, there is laundry to do and my tests aren't going to study for themselves. Boo on that noise.
She sends it to me 4 hours before it's due. And half of it is missing. There is no table of contents. There are supposed to be 40 pages min and there are only 22 that I count. So I do the best I can and get the project put together. None of my other 4 group mates helped.
Now we get this email from our prof telling us our project was unacceptable. That's when I had to email him and tell him what I've been dealing with. He seems pretty cool about it, like he knows whats been going on.
Also, my friend's dad died. Which is terrible. I feel so awful for her. I think I know what she's going through, since I lost my dad 7 years ago, but it's different for everyone so I guess I can't say that, and then you are incorporating yourself into someone else's grief and are an attention whore.
It's finals week coming up. I HATE finals week. That plus working full time just makes me so angry because all I want to do is lie on the couch on my stomach and have people bring me food and watch marathons of Law and Order, Criminal Intent. Maybe the food bringer can be shirtless and hot and Christian Bale's identical twin. Or he can wear a ruffly shirt and have an english accent and look like Colin Firth.
But my dogs are rambunctious, there is laundry to do and my tests aren't going to study for themselves. Boo on that noise.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
The Right Thing
It's really hard to know what the right thing is for yourself.
I mean, I was seeing someone, and it really seemed like the right thing, but it turned out it wasn't. And that 's how all of my 'seeing people things' go. It seems ok, but there aren't any spectacular fireworks. And that is ok (I think), because good relationships take time to build. But the guy is always all,"I like you but it's not going any further and I don't feel 'that thing'" and then I am all 'duh' because it's true.
I have a lot of trouble with that, because the like part is very easy for me, but the 'anything further' part is a lot harder and I will just end up everyone's little sister or something. About 2 days ago I really cared about it but now I realized there really isn't anything I can do about it and that is the right thing for me.
It's also hard to do the right thing for other people. This project I have been working on...I swear these people are dumb, lazy, or both. They turn in terrible work and always have excuses. I want to shoot them. Well when they fucked up our final project, I had to email the professor. First time I had been a tattle tale in over 20 years. I got our final project 4 hours before it was due. It was jumbled, any part I didn't do was incomplete and wrong, and no one cited their sources. The group is all contrite about it--I have already begun to rectify the situation. The rest of my group is all contrite but as of yet, no results.
I mean, I was seeing someone, and it really seemed like the right thing, but it turned out it wasn't. And that 's how all of my 'seeing people things' go. It seems ok, but there aren't any spectacular fireworks. And that is ok (I think), because good relationships take time to build. But the guy is always all,"I like you but it's not going any further and I don't feel 'that thing'" and then I am all 'duh' because it's true.
I have a lot of trouble with that, because the like part is very easy for me, but the 'anything further' part is a lot harder and I will just end up everyone's little sister or something. About 2 days ago I really cared about it but now I realized there really isn't anything I can do about it and that is the right thing for me.
It's also hard to do the right thing for other people. This project I have been working on...I swear these people are dumb, lazy, or both. They turn in terrible work and always have excuses. I want to shoot them. Well when they fucked up our final project, I had to email the professor. First time I had been a tattle tale in over 20 years. I got our final project 4 hours before it was due. It was jumbled, any part I didn't do was incomplete and wrong, and no one cited their sources. The group is all contrite about it--I have already begun to rectify the situation. The rest of my group is all contrite but as of yet, no results.
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