Tuesday, November 10, 2009

This is Why You're Single

I love my girl friends, but some of them have some pretty warped ideas. Thinking they deserve a great guy means that they deserve a male that is a doctor/lawyer/underwear model/Porsche driver who spends his spare time helping kids fly kites.

This guy exists. But he's gay.

They also describe this guy another way: Tall, dark, and asshole.

In all seriousness, whatever happened to wanting someone kindhearted, intelligent, and funny?

Oh yeah, those guys are gay too.

Holy Crap I Forgot About This Thing

I really did. I wish I had an interesting story here, but I really don't.

I guess the "Random" might mean that I have ADD....

Monday, July 9, 2007

Don't Wake the Giant

Right now I am sitting in strategic management class. I don't know if it's the nature of the class or the idiots in it, but everyone (of the 80 students) has got to add their stupid little anecdotal irrelevant personal stories to every case and example. It lengthens the class by approximately one hour. I do not want to spend an extra hour with you oxygen stealers.

Here's a sample: Discussing Home Depot strategy, and some attention whore in the front row raises her hand and talks about how terrible Home Depot was because they screwed up her microwave.

I gave her a look that said, "Hey crazy face, what the HELL does this have to do with corporate strategy and marketing?"

Somehow, this devolves into a symposium of whining about shitty customer service. Some dude starts kvetching about his tv from Sony. Snore.

All of this whining...wakes the giant.

The giant is a very annoying guy with some warped opinions. He is about 7 feet tall and covered in facial hair. He talks loudly and for what seems like an eternity. Whenever there is a class discussion he has to share some freak ideology and present it as accepted law. There was the corporate lettuce farming conspiracy, and the statement that "If you slap an American label on it, the Chinese will buy anything."

The giant wakes and does not bother to raise his hand, just interrupts the prof, talking about Wal Mart.

"Take Wal Mart for example. You don't shop at Wal Mart because you want to. You shop at Wal Mart because you HAVE TO. But I don't buy my suits there no no. I buy my ties at Macy's."

After some more incoherent rambling, the giant finally slumbers again...until next time.

Oh PS -- some guy showed up and his wife just had a baby this evening. And he comes to CLASS?? What a loser. I bet his wife is so proud she married such a loving and caring guy.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Go to your high school reunions...trust me.

I didn't know if I believed in karma until my 10 year high school reunion, which was held last weekend.

A little background, I was a shy, skinny, awkward kid who had a few too many perms, braces, and no fashion sense. I was in Advanced Placement classes and had goody goody not popular (but amazingly awesome and great) friends. I didn't drink, smoke, or do drugs (unless you count some wine coolers my senior year). Boys would ask me out as a joke or a dare, I didn't go to my senior prom.

Trust me, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I went back for the ten year reunion. It was a little daunting stepping in there by myself and facing the gauntlet, but I found my old friends and they all looked amazing. And I saw the people who weren't so nice, and they had become as ugly on the outside as they were on the inside. My 'goody goody' friends and I and all the really nice, good people were the best looking and most successful people there.

There was also toasted ravioli, and I love that.

Also, drunk popular guys who didn't pay any attention to me in high school got drunk and tried to hit on me. HA! Denied.

To all the nerds out there...just wait. :)

Sunday, June 17, 2007

I'm Still Up

I have found a new drink, called the wine spritzer and it is yum. We just took some wine and some sprite and voila, wine spritzers. The wine lasts a lot longer and rocks. Kudos to Amber for thinking up that great idea and bringing over Sprite. We took it to a friend's party.

Also we were trying to come up with a more PC name for Chinese Finger Cuffs. Ben and I were discussing and we thought "Asian Phalange Retainer" was a little better. But it's probably worse. Don't stone me. I think he won the Asian Phalange Retainers in some battle of wits with the Dave and Buster's basketball game. It was a test of skill.

Also if you are smoking pot at a party, don't make it that obvious. And do something about the smell, it is putrid. But all of a sudden I feel very laid back and am hungry.

Also Taco Cabana is the best place ever. I just ate a bean and cheese burrito at 2 am. Remind me I did this when I get to 40 and get heartburn from just looking at a burrito.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

My Professor Goes Skinny Dipping, And Other Things I Didn't Want to Know

I'm in class, and my prof is talking about how he and his wife use Appreciative Inquiry to help their relationship.

...And they talked about going skinny dipping, massages, and calling each other Mr. Chocolate.

Still going....

And he's also a good dancer.

Monday, June 11, 2007

DIRTY! Blast From the Past 3

From: Ginsuchop Sent: Monday, April 22, 2002 12:57 PM
To: RandomGirlinTX, GetawayDriver, Kim-eh
Subject: RE: Any subject

Went to lunch and was sitting at stop light, bird pooped on wind shield right in front of my face. Almost puked. Now car is DIRTY!!!!
Got message on computer this morning that said I had 322 files with viruses that had to be fixed. Now computer is DIRTY!!!!
Bug ran out on bathroom floor this morning. It was a silverfish. A big one too, probably cause it and all his friends are eating holes in my brand new $4000 wardrobe. I stepped on it. Now my apartment is DIRTY!!!!
Just spilled coffee on desk. Now cube is DIRTY!!!!
Ok, I'm just going to go find a mud puddle and roll around in it.

From: Kim-eh
To: RandomGirlinTX, Ginsuchop, GetawayDriver
Subject: RE: Any subject
Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2002 1:01:52

My phones are DIRTY! Everyone else is out data testing a new system, b/c we have to get this data in by Wednesday, but the stupid IT ppl didn't load my phone into the system so they are DIRTY!
Want to take a nap after huge FREE lunch. We all got dessert. Wonder how much it cost? Wait, no I don't b/c I DON"T CARE! free for me.
Later Kim-eh

From: RandomGirlinTX
To: Kim-eh, Ginsuchop, GetawayDriver
Subject: RE: Any subject
Date: Mon, 22 Apr 2002 1:45:52 PM

DIRTY!!!!!!! I want to play too! This morning my pillow smelled like Pine Sol and I have no clue why. DIRTY!
I ran across a silverfish too the other day. I Raid-ed him. HE screamed "Oh no...RAID!".....DIRTY!
Sprouted another large zit on my face...DIRTY!
My house still smells like Brye's feet...DIRTY! My lunch was not free...DIRTY!

From: GetawayDriver
Sent: Monday, April 22, 2002 2:56 PM
To: RandomGirlinTX, Ginsuchop, Kim-eh
Subject: RE: Any subject

I just had to transfer gonnorhea from a little tube to an agar plate......DIRTY!!!!
Had 1 hour meeting where males just wanted to hear themselves talk.........DIRTY!!!!!
Found silverfish in my apartment, too-wore sweater on Friday with hole in the back, Jared was making fun of me b/c I didn't notice until we came back from dinner.......DIRTY!!!!
Had to pay for my lunch, although it was only $0.74..........DIRTY!!!!!!
Princess is going yet another week without any nookie, so she's taking it out on me......DIRTY!!!!!!!