Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Wide Load, Coming Through

In my life I have been very lucky. I have always done sports and been slim. I never understood why girls had eating disorders or let being called 'fat' bother them. Until I was called it myself.

Lets set the stage. I go to a health fair at work. Actually, 'health fair' is a misnomer, it's called a 'spew bullshit' fair instead. A little background on me...I am 5'6" and a size 0-4 depending on where I am shopping. That is not fat.

Yet somehow, the genius calculating my BMI gets it wrong (I later calculated it myself, it's 21.8 but this idiot got 23.8). He then tells me that "you need to work on this, it's high, have you been working out?".

Hey dumbass, maybe you need to work on passing 3rd grade math. While you're at it, the combover does not hide your male pattern baldness--if you want to beautify this office why don't you start in your own backyard, but I digress.

Then these morons tell me my blood pressure is high and I am at risk for hypertension. 120/70. Yeah, if I am at risk for hypertension we all are. Suck it Trebek.

But long story short, even though I knew these comments were bogus, a little part of them stung. Then all of a sudden I felt like I had a little bit of insight into why some of my family and friends can be so obsessive and why women today have body image issues.

Ladies, you are all beautiful, f*ck the haters, go paint with all the colors of the wind, and remember you can always diet, but a f*cking asshole is still a f*cking asshole.

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